Chordproc: Dan Bern

I have a friend Sits in his office Where he's had his big success Now he cries all day He says the Internet Is stealing his royalties Talks of his glory days I say no one cares about your glory days Backroads New Mexico There's an old abandoned church Windows boarded up Never sees a coat of paint Sometimes I drive by and dream Of hearing the preacher preach But it's a dragstrip for the kids You can hear their tires screech Don't let your heart Get broken by this world Don't let your heart Get broken

At the bottom of the ocean

You might find a pearl Don't let your heart Get broken by this world Drop by Albuquerque sometime When you need to I'll sing you an Albuquerque Lullaby... So baby when I close my eyes You know it's you I see You know I'm pulling for you As you go on your way Don't ever hesitate To say what's goin' on Ain't nothin black and white Always some new place to turn Don't let your heart Get broken by this world...

Baby Bye Bye

Capo IV

Listening to the big guys new cd laying in bed

The one his producer thinks he never shoulda made

But it gets me going, gets me into the shower

While I'm shocked to awake at this early hour

And you're gone

It was time to fly

And all that's left is the fact we tried

So thanks for the tunes and thanks for the times

Your gone now Baby bye bye Them guys from Orange County Man can they wail It shakes my brain and shakes my tail New girl on top of me Will this work out? I retreat for the kitchen And sort it all out

And you're gone

It was time to fly

And all that's left is the fact we tried

So thanks for the tunes and thanks for the times

Your gone now Baby bye bye

You left your keys on the table

And on the bed you left a rose

And a note, "My CD's won't fit in the car

You can keep 'em, I suppose."

This disc was left out in the sun

It's warped and it hisses

I can't place the voice and the insert's missing

I turn off the phone so you don't call

It's alright

Maybe I won't listen to nothing tonight

And you're gone

It was time to fly

And all that's left is the fact we tried

So thanks for the tunes and thanks for the times

Your gone now Baby bye bye

And you're gone

It was time to fly

And all that's left is the fact we tried

So thanks for the tunes and thanks for the times

Your gone now Baby bye bye

Black Tornado

Gsus4

I've been speaking later and later in the day Most days I don't talk till maybe eight o'clock at night

Csus4

It keeps me whole, it keeps me holy

Gsus4

It keeps me way up on the mountain even when I'm on the road

It keeps me coming up for air, it keeps me airing out the sun

It keeps me cool And every place I go is one less place I can call home And every girl I kiss, well I just cross her off my list I don't go far, I just go crazy And I buried my old clothes out in some field in west Des Moines And if you judge me tonight, judge me by the songs I write That's who I am to you

And there's a black tornado, black tornado

Spinning around in my body sometimes

Black tornado, black tornado

Spinning around in my body sometimes

Oh, oh, oh And I could do tonight with something soft and warm and fury But that ain't likely to occur is South Central Missouri On a day off, on an off day On a Budweiser, Budget-Tel, Bukowski kind of night All I've got's what's on my back, guitar and a back-pack My soul's intact And there's a black tornado, black tornado Spinning around in my body sometimes Black tornado, black tornado Spinning around in my body sometimes Oh, oh, oh Everything is changing faster than I can describe All I really know to do is grab the wheel and drive I look for love, and some adventure I try not to let my own breathing scare me off the raod There's a tombstone of my father I visit sometimes There's a tombstone of my father I visit sometimes And there's a black tornado, black tornado Spinning around in my body sometimes Black tornado, black tornado Spinning around in my body sometimes Oh, oh, oh

Chelsea Hotel

D/f#

I still smell tobacco on my fingers

My breath reeks of pot and wine and sex

D/f#

My eyes open up like they haven't in years

So I won't miss what ever happens next

You call me a thief, all right I' m a thief

Am7

(

) Grab your summons, come and ring my bell

D/f#

C/b

I'll be making love with my baby in the Chel - sea hotel I told you to meet me at eight o'clock I said I' d be drinking at the bar I drove between Newark and La Guardia Trying to return a rented car We keep missing connections today But tomorrow would be just as well I gotta go make love with my baby in the Chelsea hotel I've been walking all around your neighborhood My former love It seems as far away and as sad to me As those rain clouds above I hope you're happy in what ever you're doing I hope your doing well And please don't try to contact me at the Chelsea hotel

I was starting to think The world was going to end when the calendar turns But now you're here I see the future baby

And they can let the calendar burn New love is beautiful But new love is sad New love brings back all the old loves That you've ever had I put out a casting call And you cast a spell And we're practicing for the millennium making love at the Chelsea hotel So who knows what tomorrow brings But I know where I'll be waking up Let's just listen to our breath tonight And the breeze through the window that you opened up Can you feel our hearts beating Which one's yours, which one's mine, who can tell Just another day of making love at the Chelsea hotel Spend all day and night making love at the Chelsea hotel

God Said No

Capo II

I met God on the edge of town Where the wind meets the stillness, where the darkness meets the light Where the ocean meets the sky, where the desert meets the rain Where the earth meets the heavens, on the edge of town I met God I asked God, do one thing for me Send me back in time, send me to Seattle Let me go find Kurt Cobain Take away his gun, take away his bullets Talk to him, make him wanna live Tell him how we love him, help him see his glory God said no, if I sent you back If you really found him, you would only ask him If he could help you get a deal If he knows a lawyer, if he can help you God said no I asked God, do one thing for me Send me back in time, send me to Berlin Let me find the one they call Hitler I will stalk him, I will bring him down I will bring along a powerful gun Loaded with bullets to obliterate his memory God said no, if I sent you back You would get caught up in theory and discussion You would let your fears delay and distract you You would make friends, you would take a lover God said no I asked God, do one thing for me Send me back in time, send me to Jerusalem Let me go, let me go find Jesus Let me save his life as they try to kill him Let me take him down, down from the cross Take the iron from his body, try to heal his wounds God said no, if I let you go If you really found him walking with the cross You would stare, your tongue no longer working Eyes no longer seeing, ears no longer hearing God said time, time belongs to me Time's my secret weapon, my final advantage God turned away from the edge of town I knew I was beaten, and that now was all I had God said no

Jerusalem

D: x54035

G/f#

When I tell you that I love you

Em/g

Don't test my love

Accept my love don't test my love

Cause maybe I don't love you all that much Don't ask what kind of music I'm gonna play tonight Just stay awhile Hear for yourself awhile And if you must put me in a box Make sure it's a big box With lots of windows And a door to walk through And a nice high chimney So we can burn burn burn Everything that we don't like And watch the ashes Fly up to Heaven Maybe all the way to India I'd like that All the ancient kings came to my door They said, "Do you want to be an ancient king too?" I said, "Oh yes, very much But I think my timing's wrong" They said, "Time is relative Or did you misread Einstien?" I said, "Do you really mean it?" They said, "What do you think we come here for Our goddamn health or something?" Everybody's waiting for the messiah The Jews are waiting The Christians are waiting Also the Muslims It's like everybody's waiting They've been waiting a long time I know how I hate to wait Like even for a bus or something An important phone call So I can imagine How darned impatient Everybody must be getting So I think it's time now Time to reveal myself I am the Messiah I am the Messiah I am the Messiah Yes, I think you heard me right I am the Messiah I was gonna wait till next year Build up the suspense a little Make it a really big surprise But I could not resist It's like when you got a really big secret You're just bursting to tell someone It was kinda like that with this And now that I've told you I feel this great weight lifted Dr. Nusbaum was right He's my therapist He said get it out in the open I spent ten whole days in Jerusalem Mmmm Jerusalem Sweet Jerusalem And all I ate was olives Nothing but olives Mountains of olives It was a good ten days I like olives I like you too So when I tell you that I love you Don't test my love Accept my love Don't test my love 'Cause maybe I don't love you all that much

Marilyn

Marilyn Monroe didn't marry Henry Miller Marilyn Monroe didn't marry Henry Miller Marilyn Monroe didn't marry Henry Miller Marilyn Monroe didn't marry Henry Miller

But if she did He'd a taken her to Paris And if she did She'd have smoked a lot of opium And if she did She'd have dyed her hair blue And if she did She might be alive

Oh-ohh Henry Miller Oh-ohh Marilyn Monroe Oh-ohh Henry Miller Oh-ohh Marilyn Monroe Marilyn Monroe didn't marry Henry Miller She lived outside the Tropic of Capricorn Marilyn Monroe didn't marry Henry Miller I don't even know if she knew Henry Miller But if she did He'd a taken her to Paris And if she did They'd have fucked every day And if she did She'd have felt like a woman Not like a photogragh In a magazine Oh-ohh Henry Miller Oh-ohh Marilyn Monroe

This is not a knock against Arthur Miller "Death of a Salesman" is my favorite play But Marilyn Monroe Should have married Henry Miller And if she did She might be alive

Cause if she did He'd have taken her to Paris Tied her to the bed And eaten dinner off of her And okay maybe she'd have died the same, anyway But if she did she'd have had more fun Oh-ohh Henry Miller Oh-ohh Marilyn Monroe Oh-ohh Henry Miller Oh-ohh Marilyn Monroe

Oh Sister

They say you taught me how to talk

I bet you wish you taught me how to stop

You're far away now

I wish I could take a walk with you someplace

You explained me to our parents

English wasn't their first language

They spoke German

Hated Germans

Confusing times

Oh sister

Down midwest backseat bumpy streets

You sang my Beatles songs with me

I sang your Broadway melodies

Bad harmonies

And where would Willie Mays have been

without Jackie Robinson?

And who can say what I'd been

Without you to lead the way After I showed some guys I could drink You picked me off the lawn, I think And led me to the kitchen sink Where I got rid of it Some nights I lay awake in awe As squinting through the dark I saw You peeling off your teenage bra The door slightly ajar Oh sister You lived just across the hall For eighteen summers Eighteen falls Until you went away to that Weird college in Wisconsin And where would Willie Mays have been without Jackie Robinson? And who can say what I'd been Without you to lead the way

Trust yourself

And you can do anything

This I give to you May your heart purr like a bumblebee May all your backyards have a tree May you always be HIV negative I hope you meet a nice guy who Treats women better than I do I don't even care if he's a Jew or not Oh sister I remember in the temple hall At our dear father's funeral You sang like a nightingale One of his own songs And where would Willie Mays have been Without Jackie Robinson? And who can say what I'd been Without you to lead the way

Tiger Woods

I got big balls Big ol' balls Big as grapefruits Big as pumpkins Yes sir, yes sir And on my really good days They swell to the size of small dogs My balls are as big as small dogs Well, it ain't braggin' if it's true Yes sir, yes sir It ain't braggin' if it's true Mohammed Ali said that Back when he was a young man Back when he was Casius Clay Before he fought too many fights And left his brain inside the ring Sometimes I wish I was Tiger Woods Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods Sometimes I wish I was Tiger Woods Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods I got a friend whose goal in life Was to one day go down on Madonna That's all he wanted That was all To one day go down on Madonna And when my friend was thirty-four He got his wish in Rome one night He got to go down on Madonna In Rome one night in some hotel And ever since he's been depressed 'Cause life is shit from here on in And all our friends just shake their heads And say, "Too soon, too soon, too soon, He went down on Madonna too soon Too young, too young, too soon, too soon" And it ain't braggin' if it's true Yes sir, yes sir It ain't braggin' if it's true Mohammed Ali said that Back when he was Casius Clay Before he fought too many fights And left his brain inside the ring Sometimes I wish I was Tiger Woods Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods Sometimes I wish I was Tiger Woods Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods If certain girls don't look at you It means that they like you a lot If other girls don't look at you It just means they're ignoring you How can you know, how can you know? Which is which, who's doing what? I guess that you can ask 'em Which one are you baby? Do you like me or are you ignoring me? Do you like me or are you ignoring me? Do you like me or are you ignoring me? And all you need to do that Is one good pair of big balls Balls as big as grapefruits Balls as big as pumpkins Balls as big as mine But even though my balls are big Sometimes I wish they were bigger Even bigger Big as the wheels on tractors Big as the golden arches Big as the Golden Gate Bridge Big as the state of Kansas Big as Mars and Jupiter Big as the swing of Tiger Woods Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods

Turning Over

C#m

Spending some time in New Mexico

C#m

Named after a game show

Trying to decide if I should sell my van

C#m

Buy a truck and head down to Texas Sometimes I think I'm gunning for the big time Sometimes I think I'm running out of time And that big odometer in the sky turns over Turning over

C#m

Turning over, upside down

Turning round and round and round

C#m

Turning over, wrong side up

Barely fill my coffee cup

C#m

I can't find another leaf worth

Turning over Lately I've been scattered My attention span's like a three-year-old's I pick up my guitar and I put it down Try reading books, end up going down town My friends say, "Relax, slow down!" But my insides feel like a ghost town Rolling and spinning and all my guts turned over Like a tumble week through an empty town I'm turning over Maybe I should go get in a fight Find somebody's honour to protect Maybe I should go and drink my fill Maybe I should go sign someone's will Out there in the ally someone's trying To start their car but that thing ain't buying Every time he tries it scrapes the air That tired crate is barely Turning over