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Ben Folds : Whatever And Ever Amen
1997

  1. One Angry Dwarf And 200 Solemn Faces
  2. Fair
  3. Brick
  4. Song For The Dumped
  5. Selfless, Cold And Composed

  6. Kate
  7. Smoke
  8. Cigarette
  9. Steven's Last Night In Town
  10. Battle Of Who Could Care Less
  11. Missing The War
  12. Evaporated

One Angry Dwarf And 200 Solemn Faces

Capo:
II
D9 x5455x
C9 x3233x
Ab7 464544
A7
C
A7
x2
C7
Fmaj7
September '75, I was 47 inches high
Dm7
A7
Mom said by Christmas I would have
C7
Fmaj7
A bad-ass mother GI Joe, for your little minds to blow
Dm7
Esus4
E
I still got beat up after class, yeah
Am7
D9
Gm7
C9
Now I'm big and important, one angry dwarf and
Fmaj7
Esus4
E
Two hundred solemn faces are you
Am7
D9
Gm7
C9
If you really want to see me, check the papers and the TV
Fmaj7
Esus4
E
Look who's telling who what to do
A7
C
A7
A7
C
A7
Kiss my ass, goodbye
C7
Don't give me that bullshit, you know who I am
Fmaj7
I'm your nightmare little man
Dm7
A7
Vic, you stole my lunch money, made me cry
C7
Fmaj7
Jane, remember Second Grade? Said you couldn't stand my face
Dm7
Esus4
E
Rather than kiss me, you said you'd rather die
Am7
D9
Gm7
C9
Now I'm big and important, one angry dwarf and
Fmaj7
Esus4
E
Two hundred solemn faces are you
Am7
D9
Gm7
C9
If you really want to see me, check the papers and the TV
Fmaj7
Esus4
E
Look who's telling who what to do
A7
C
A7
A7
C
A7
Kiss my ass, goodbye
C7
Fmaj7
Dm7
A7
C7
Fmaj7
Dm7
Esus4
E
Am7
D9
Gm7
C9
Fmaj7
Esus4
E
x2
A7
C
A7
x2
A7
You'll be sorry one day, yes you will, yes you will
C
A7
You shouldn't push me around, 'cause I will, yes I will You will be sorry when I'm big, yes you will, yes you will
C
A7
You will be sorry, yeah
Am7
D9
Gm7
C9
Now I'm big and important, one angry dwarf and
Fmaj7
Esus4
E
Two hundred solemn faces are you
Am7
D9
Gm7
C9
If you really want to see me, check the papers and the TV
Fmaj7
Esus4
E
Look who's telling who what to do
C
A7
A7
C
A7
Kiss my ass
A7
Kiss my ass, kiss my ass goodbye, now
C
A7
Kiss my ass, kiss my ass goodbye, now
A7
Kiss my ass, kiss my ass goodbye, now
C
A7
Kiss my ass, kiss my ass goodbye, now
A7
C
A7
September '75, I was 47 inches high
A7
C
A7
Ab7
G7
A7
September '75, September '75

Fair

He shouted out his last word And he stumbled through the yard And she shattered her last china plate And spun off in the car When he lunged onto the hood She stopped to tell him she'd been wrong He was thrown head over heels Into the traffic coming on But then all is fair All is fair in love Ba ba ba, ba ba ba, ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba, ba ba ba, ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba, ba ba ba, ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba, ba ba ba, ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba Did you get my other letters Sometimes I think I oughta call 'Cause you know I often wonder If you open them at all Every couple nights or so You know you pop into my dreams I just can't get rid of you Like you got rid of me Oh, but I send my best 'Cause God knows you've seen my worst Yeah well, all is fair All is fair in love Ba ba ba, ba ba ba, ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba, ba ba ba, ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba, ba ba ba, ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba, ba ba ba, ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba Ah, ah, ah All this breathing in, never breathing out All this breathing in, never breathing out All this breathing in, never breathing out Well, I guess she made her way Through the mob too late to hear him say That he'd gotten all he'd wanted A crowd to watch him bear the pain He'd been keeping in (So what) So what All is fair All is fair in love Yeah well, all is fair All is fair in love Ba ba ba, ba ba ba, ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba, ba ba ba, ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba, ba ba ba, ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba, ba ba ba, ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba Am I right? Am I right? Not only am I right I'm lonely and I'm right Yeah

Brick

|
D
G6
|
x3
|
Bm7
|
Esus4
E
Esus4
| ...
D
G6
Six AM, day after Christmas
D
G6
I throw some clothes on in the dark
D
G6
The smell of cold, car seat is freezing
D
G6
D
The world is sleeping I am, numb Up the stairs, to her apartment She is balled up on the couch Her mom and dad, went down to Charlotte They're not home to find us out
Bm7
G
And we drive
Bm7
G
Now that I have found someone
D
G6
I'm feeling more alone
Bm7
Esus4
E
Esus4
Than I ever have before
G
A
Dmaj9
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
G
A
Dmaj9
Off the coast and I'm heading nowhere
G
A
Dmaj9
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly...
G
A
G
D
They call her name at seven thirty I pace around the parking lot Then I walk down to buy her flowers And sell some gifts that I got Can't you see? It's not me you're dying for Now she's feeling more alone Then she ever has before She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly Off the coast and I'm heading nowhere She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
G
A
G
A
D/f#
G
D
G
A
G
A
D/f#
G
Esus4
E
Gsus4
G
D
Dsus4
As weeks went by it showed that she was not fine
Esus4
E
Gsus4
G
D
Dsus4
They told me son it's time to tell the truth and
Esus4
E
Gsus4
G
She broke down, and I broke down
D
Dsus4
Esus4
E
Esus4
G
D
G6
D
G6
'Cause I was tired... of lying Driving back, to her apartment For the moment we're alone Yeah she's alone, and I'm alone And now I know it She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly Off the coast and I'm heading nowhere
Bm7
A/c#
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
G
A
G
A
D/f#
G
D

Song For The Dumped

G7
So you wanted to take a break Slow it down some and have some space Well fuck you too
F
C
Give me my money back
Eb
Bb
C7
Give me my money back you bitch
Eb
Bb
C7
I want my money back
G7
C
And don't forget
G7
And don't forget
C7
To give me back my black T-shirt I wish I hadn't bought you dinner Right before you Dumped me on your front porch Give me my money back Give me my money back you bitch I want my money back And don't forget And don't forget To give me back my black T-shirt Hey, hey!
Fmaj7/g
C7
Fmaj7/g
C7
F
C
Eb
Bb
C
Eb
Bb
D
Em7
Fdim
D
G
C7
G7
C7
G7
C7
B7
Bb7
A7
Ab7
G7
So you wanted to take a break Slow it down some and have some space Give me my money back Give me my money back you bitch I want my money back I want my money back And don't forget

Selfless, Cold And Composed

F# xx4322
F#/f xx3322
F#/e xx2322
Dmaj7 xx0222
Esus4 022200
F#
/f
/e
Dmaj7
F#
/f
/e
Dmaj7
Esus4
I said what you wanted to hear And what I wanted to say So I will take it back And all the dishes intact Let them be Broken Broken
D
E
It's easy to be
D
E
Easy and free
D
E
When it doesn't mean anything
D
E
To remain selfless, cold
F#
And composed You've done me no favor to call and be nice Telling me I can take anything I like You don't owe me to be so polite You've done no wrong You've done no wrong Get out of my sight It's easy to be Easy and free When it doesn't mean anything To remain selfless, cold And composed
D
F#
Come on baby, now throw me a right to the chin
D
F#
Don't you stare like you never cared, I know you did
Dmaj7
Esus4
F#/e
But you just smile Like a bank teller Like you're telling me "Have a nice life" Come on baby, now throw me a right to the chin Just one sign that'll show me that you give a shit But you just smile politely And I grow weaker and I Said what you wanted to hear And what I wanted to say So I will take it back It's easy to be Easy and free When it doesn't mean anything It doesn't mean anything You can take anything You can take anything So selfless, cold So selfless, cold So selfless, cold And composed

Kate

Capo:
III
Gmaj7 3x443x
G6 322000
Em7b5 xx2333
D
She plays "Wipeout" on the drums
Dmaj7
The squirrels and the birds come
Em
Gather round to sing the guitar
Gmaj7
D
Oh I, have you got nothing to say? When all words fail she speaks Her mix-tape's a masterpiece Walks through the garden so the roses can see Oh I, have you got nothing to say?
F#m7
F7
Em7
And you can see, the daisies in her footsteps
G6
Em7b5
Dandelions, butterflies
D
I wanna be Kate, Kate, Kate, Kate Everyday she wears the same thing I think she smokes pot She's everything I want, she's everything I'm not Oh I, have you got nothing to say? She never gets wet, she smiles and it's a rainbow And she speaks and she breathes I wanna be Kate, Kate, Kate, Kate
Am7
Gmaj7
Down by the Rosemary and Cameron
Gm7
Fmaj7
She hands out The Bhagavad Gita
Fm7
Bb7
I see her around every couple days
Em7
Em7b5
D
Gm
I wanna meet her so I can say, hey Kate!
D
Dmaj7
Em7
Gmaj7
D
D
Dmaj7
Em7
Ooh la la la, ooh la la la, ooh la la la, la
Gmaj7
Gm
D
Doo doo doo doo, doo doo, doo, doo She never gets wet, she smiles and it's a rainbow You can see, I wanna, wanna, wanna, wanna be...
D
Gm
Kate, Kate, Kate, na, na
D
Gm
Kate, Kate, Kate, na na, na na, na na

Smoke

|
F
|
G
|
Em7
|
F
|
x3
|
F
|
G
|
F
G
Em7
F
Leaf by leaf, page by page Throw this book away All the sadness, all the rage Throw this book away Rip out the binding, tear the glue All of the grief we never even knew We had it all along
F
G
Now it's... smoke |
F
|
G
|
Em7
|
F
|
x3
|
F
|
G
| The things we've written in it Never really happened All the things we've written in it Never really happened All of the people come and gone Never really lived, all the people Come have gone, no one To forgive... smoke |
F
|
G
|
Em7
|
F
|
x2
C
Am7
Em7
F
We will not write a new one
C
Am7
There will not be a new one
G6
F5
G6
F5
Another one, another one Here's an evening dark with shame Throw it on the fire Here's the time I took the blame Throw it on the fire Here is the time we didn't speak, it seemed for years and years Here's a secret, no one will ever Know the reasons for the tears
F
G
F
G
F
G
F
They are... smoke, smoke, smoke We will not write a new one There will not be a new one Another one, another one |
F
|
G
|
Em7
|
F
|
x2
Where do all the secrets live? They travel in the air You can smell them when they burn They travel Those who say the past is not dead Can stop and smell the smoke You keep saying the past is not dead well Stop and smell the smoke You keep on saying the past is not even past And You keep saying
F
G
F
G
F
G
Em7
F
We are... smoke, smoke, smoke

Cigarette

|
Cdim/bb
|
Bb
|
Bbdim
|
Bbdim
Bb
|
Cdim/bb
Bb
Fred Jones was worn out
Bbdim
Bb
From caring for his often
Ebmaj7/bb
Bbmaj7
Screaming and crying wife
Bbdim
Eb/bb
During the day
Ebmaj7
F
Gm
But he couldn't sleep at night for fear that
Ebmaj7
F
Gm
She, in a stupor from the drugs that didn't
Emaj7
Ease the pain
Cm
Eb
Eb/f
F
Cdim/bb
Would set the house ablaze with a cigarette |
Cdim/bb
|
Bb
|
Bbdim
|
Bbdim
Bb
|

Steven's Last Night In Town

F#m
C#/f
Em
A7
F#m
C#/f
Em
A7
Everyone gather round now, sing us a song
D
F#m
Bm
E7
Just in case by tomorrow it happens he's gone
F#m
C#/f
Em
A7
For two weeks and seven days our fair foreign friend
D
F#m
Bm
E7
I have this feeling we might never see Steven again
F#m
C#/f
Em
A7
D/a
A
We thought he was gone
E/a
A
But he's come back again
Bm
F#m
Last week it was funny
C#7
F#m
And now the joke's wearin' thin
D
A/c#
'Cause everyone knows now
Bm
A
That every night now
E/g#
E
Will be Steven's last night in town
F#m
C#/f
Em
A7
F#m
C#/f
Em
A7
He's charmed everyone here except Tamara Easter
D
F#m
Bm
E7
Who later revealed to him her innermost secrets
F#m
C#/f
Em
A7
Won us over with stories about Linda McCartney
D
F#m
Bm
E7
Lost points with the ladies for sayin' he couldn't love a woman
F#m
C#/f
Em
A7
With cellulite We thought he was gone But he's come back again Last week it was funny And now the joke's wearin' thin 'Cause everyone knows now That every night now Will be Steven's last night in town
C#7
F#m
C#7
F#m
Bm
F#m
Bm
C#7
C#7
Hit that shit say
F#m
Hit that shit say
C#7
Hit that shit say
F#m
Hit that shit say
Bm
F#m
D
C#m
Bm
C#m
Dm/e
C#m/e
Bm/e
C#m/e
D
C#m
Bm
A
F#m
C#/f
Em
A7
We were talkin' 'bout somethin' seems like was funny
D
F#m
Bm
E7
And Steven got quiet, I think Steven was mad
F#m
C#/f
Em
A7
D
Maybe he wasn't mad, but we felt very strange
F#m
Bm
E7
In the moment, but the moment was passed
F#m
C#/f
Em
A7
And forgotten about We thought he was gone But he's come back again Last week it was funny And now the joke's wearin' thin 'Cause everyone knows now That every night now Will be Steven's last night in town
F#m
C#/f
Em
A7

Battle Of Who Could Care Less

G
F
Eb
Db
Db
Eb
B
Db
G
F
Eb
Db
Db
Eb
B
Db
Eb
F
G
F
Eb
F/eb
Do you not hear me any more?
Eb
F
Db
I know it's not your thing to care
Eb
G
You know it's cool to be so bored
F
Eb
F/eb
Sucks me in when you're aloof
Eb
F
Db
It sucks me in, it sucks, it works
Eb
F
Guess it's cool to be alone
F
F
F
A
Bb
C
F
G
A
Cm7
Bb
F
(Will you) never rest
Cm7
Bb
F
Fight the battle of who could care less
Cm7
Bb
F
Eb
Every day you wake up late
C
G
Sometimes I wish I was, that way
G
F
Eb
Db
Db
Eb
B
Db
G
F
Eb
F/eb
And you think Rockford Files is cool
Eb
F
Db
But there are some things, that you would change
Eb
G
If it were up to you
F
Eb
F/eb
So think about your masterpiece
Eb
F
Watch the Rockford Files
Db
Eb
F
And call to see if Paul could score some weed
F
F
F
A
Bb
C
F
G
A
Cm7
Bb
F
Do you never rest
Cm7
Bb
F
Fight the battle of who could care less
Cm7
Bb
F
Eb
Unearned unhappiness
C
G
Well that's alright I guess
F/eb
Eb
F/g
G
C
D
G
C
I've got this great idea
C
D
G
C
Why don't we pitch it to the Franklin fucking mint?
C
D
Fine pewter portraits of
G
C
Bb/eb
General Apathy and Major Boredom singing
G
F
Eb
Whatever and ever amen
Eb
F
Db
Eb
G
Oh well, maybe not, I'll try again
F
Eb
F/eb
Well this should cheer you up for sure
Eb
F
Db
See I've got your old ID
Eb
F
And you're all dressed up like The Cure
Cm7
Bb
F
You never rest
Cm7
Bb
F
Fight the battle of who could care less
Cm7
Bb
F
Eb
Unearned unhappiness
C
G
You're my hero I confess

Missing The War

A
Am6/c
E
F#7
A
Am6/c
E
E
Emaj7
F#7
F#9
All is quiet his tired eyes
B7sus4
B7
Bm7
B7
See figures jotted down and clothes all thrown around
A/e
E
C#m/g#
G#
The bedroom floor
E
Emaj7
F#7
F#9
Now nothing's adding up and nothing's making sense
B7sus4
B7
Bm7
B7
She's sleeping like a baby
A/e
E
C#m/g#
G#
Amaj7
She doesn't know he wasn't meant for this
Amaj7
Amaj7
I'm missing the war
Am6/c
Am6/c
Emaj7
I'm missing the war all night
C#m7
F#7
F#7
F#9
|
A
Am6/c
E
F#7
Missing the war, I'm missing the War
F#9
G
G/d
G
E
Esus4/f#
E5/g#
Till beads of sunlight hit me in the morning
C#
B
E
D
A
Am6/c
E
F#7
So much time so little to say
E
Emaj7
F#7
F#9
He drove home again, pissed and beaten
B7sus4
B7
Bm7
B7
It's really no big deal it happens all the time
A/e
E
C#m/g#
G#
It's no big deal
E
Emaj7
F#7
F#9
Time may fly and dreams may die
B7sus4
B7
Bm7
B7
The shaking voice that tells him go
A/e
E
C#m/g#
G#
Still thinks he might, he knows he won't

Evaporated

F
Am
Bb
C
x2
F
Dm
Bbadd9
What I've kept with me, and what I've thrown away
F
Dm
Bbadd9
And where the hell I've ended up on this glary, random day
Dm7
Gm
Were the things I really cared about
C
F
Just left along the way
Bbadd9
For being too pent up and proud Woke up way too late, feeling hungover and old And the sun was shining bright and I walked barefoot down the road Started thinking 'bout my old man It seems that all men want To get into a car and go...
Am
Bb
Anywhere
Bb
C
Here I stand
F
Bb
Sad and free
Bb
C
I can't cry
F
Bb
I can't see
Bb
C
What I've done
Dm
Am
Bb
Oh God what have I done?
F
Am
Bb
C
x2
Don't you know I'm numb, man, no I can't feel a thing at all 'Cause it's all smiles and business these days, and I'm indifferent to the loss I have faith that there's a soul somewhere That's leading me around I wonder if she knows which way is down Here I stand Sad and free I can't cry I can't see What I've done Oh God what have I done?
C
C7
Ooh-ooh...
Bb
C
And I poured my heart out
Bb
C
Bb
And I poured my heart out
F
Am
It evaporated... see? Blind man on a canyon's edge of a panoramic scene Or maybe I'm kite that's flying high and random, dangling a string Or slumped over in a vacant room Head on a strangers knee I'm sure back home, they think I've lost my mind Here I stand Sad and free I can't cry I can't see What I've done Oh God what have I done?
F
Am
Bb
C
x3
F
Am
Bb