Loudon Wainwright : Misc

C

F

G

Here's another song in C

C

F

G

When I play piano, it's my key

Am

F

If I was playing my guitar

Am

G

I'd probably be in G, the chances are So here's another song in C With my favorite protagonist: me Of my little world I'll tell and show I'll sing about it so you'll know

C

F

G

When people in it break my heart

C

F

G

Then my little world can fall apart

Am

F

And there's not a thing I can do

G

F

C

Except to sing in C to you There used to be a family Brother, sisters, father, mother and me We were living in a little home We were fending off the great unknown But the great unknown it got inside And what had been whole, it did divide In the end father had to leave When he did the mother had to grieve That's the time when real troubles start It's when a world can fall apart And there's not a thing I can do Except to sing in C to you I grew up and had a family And it broke apart so easily All that started thirty years ago Why it's never ending I don't know I could blame on the great unknown Or as a kid what I was told and shown But I blame myself and I blame her The cruel and foolish people that were And the children that we had are grown They're out fending off their great unknown And I've noticed they are a little bit like me With a tendency to sing in C So by now is clear to hear and know I don't play a lot of piano But sometimes a fellow has to sit Just to sing about the heavy shit And the great unknowns a hurricane With howling winds and floods and driving rain You might make it through but you don't know If right behind it there's a tornado And if families didn't break apart I suppose they don't need for art But you and I know they do So I sing in C to you

G

D

C

D

Em

C

G

D

G

D

C

D

Everything

Em

C

G

D

She sees, she says she wants

G

D

C

D

Everything

Em

C

G

D

She wants, I see she gets

G

D

That's my daughter, in the water

C

D

Em

C

Everything she owns I bought her

G

D

Everything she owns

G

D

That's my daughter, in the water

C

D

Em

C

Everything she knows I taught her

G

D

Everything she knows

G

D

C

D

Everything

Em

C

G

D

I say, she takes to heart

G

D

C

D

Everything

Em

C

G

D

She takes, she takes apart

G

D

That's my daughter, in the water

C

D

Em

C

Every time she fell I caught her

G

D

Every time she fell

G

D

That's my daughter, in the water

C

D

Em

C

I lost every time I fought her

G

D

I lost every time

F

Em

Am

G

D

x2

G

Em

x4

G

D

C

D

Every time

Em

C

G

D

She blinks, she strikes somebody blind

G

D

C

D

Everything

Em

C

G

D

She thinks, blows her tiny mind

G

D

C

That's my daughter, in the water

D

Em

C

Who'd have ever thought?

G

D

Who'd have ever thought?

G

D

That's my daughter, in the water

C

D

Em

C

I lost every time I fought her

G

D

I lost every time

F

Em

Am

G

D

x2

G

Em

x4

Capo:

II

C

G

F

C

You'll never change, neither will I

Am

F

C

G

We'll stay the same till the days that we die

C

G

F

Am

C

I'll never win, neither will you

Am

F

G

C

So what in this world are we gonna do? People hate change, they make a fuss They stay the same, people like us Folks wanna win, when they can choose But more important than that, folks don't wanna lose

Em

F

When did it start? How did it go wrong?

C

G

Why in this world can't we get along?

Em

F

Each victory should be good news

C

G

But when I have to win you're the one that I lose I wanna change, but I don't know how We need to change though, I know that now It's sad but it's true and I have to say That the days that we die aren't that far away You'll never change, neither will I We'll stay the same till the days that we die I'll never win, neither will you So what in this world are we gonna do?

G

D

C

G

x2

G

D

Crossing the highway late last night

C

G

He shoulda looked left and he shoulda looked right

G

D

He didn't see the station wagon car

C

G

The skunk got squashed and there you are

G

D

You got your dead skunk in the middle of the road

C

G

Dead skunk in the middle of the road

G

D

Dead skunk in the middle of the road

C

G

Stinking to high heaven

G

D

C

G

Take a whiff on me. That ain't no rose Roll up your window and hold your nose You don't have to look and you don't have to see 'Cause you can feel it in your olfactory You got your dead skunk in the middle of the road Dead skunk in the middle of the road Dead skunk in the middle of the road And it's stinking to high heaven

G

D

C

G

x2

Yeah, you got your dead cat and you got your dead dog On a moonlight night you got your dead toad frog You got your dead rabbit and your dead raccoon The blood and the guts, they gonna make you swoon You got your dead skunk, in the middle Dead skunk in the middle of the road Dead skunk in the middle of the road Stinking to high heaven C'mon, stink!

G

D

C

G

D

C

G

You got it! It's dead, it's in the middle Dead skunk in the middle Dead skunk in the middle of the road Stinking to high heaven

G

D

All over the road

C

G

Technicolor

G

D

C

G

D

C

G

Oh, you got pollution

G

D

It's dead, it's in the middle

C

G

And it's stinkin' to high, high heaven

G

D

C

G

...

E

A

Every night I get the blues

B

A

E

The greens and yellows and chartreuses

E

A

You're still living here with me

B

E

I'd rather be lonely All the time I look around For excuses to leave town Everybody wants somebody But I'd rather be lonely

A

Am

Loneliness is happiness

E

E7

It takes less than two

A

Am

I confess, I digress

E

B

From it when I'm with you Let us make a brand new start Separate and stay apart I've had enough having and holding I'd rather be lonely

Instrumental verse

I think that I need some space Everyday you're in my face How can I get rid of you? I'd rather be lonely Loneliness is happiness It takes less than two I confess, I digress From it when I'm with you One more verse, a few more words Love is for the bees and birds Not for a human being like me I'd rather be lonely

I don't think that your wife likes me I don't think that your wife likes me And why do you suppose that that is? I don't know Maybe, maybe it's because we go drinking Yeah, maybe it's 'cause you and I go drinking together And on occasion we take in an off broadway show Or maybe it's because I'm famous Yeah, maybe she's just a little bit jealous Or maybe it's because I was married And now I'm divorced On the telephone she sounds so hostile On the telephone she sounds so hostile to me And when I see her the smile that she flashes me Well, it's kind of forced Anyway, I don't think that your wife likes me I don't think that your wife likes me I'm famous and she's jealous And she probably thinks I'm full of crap And I don't think that your wife trusts me Now I don't think that your wife trusts you She thinks I take you out to eighth avenue to catch the... Clap your hands I don't think that your wife likes me I don't think that your wife likes me You know, I detest your wife Did I ever tell you that before? Why do you suppose that that is? I don't know

Intro of verse chords

Fmaj7

C

Shut up and go to bed

Fmaj7

C

Put the pillow under your head

E7

I'm sick and tired

Fmaj7

C

G

G7

Of all of your worries Shut up and say goodnight Say your prayers and turn out the light I'm sick and tired Of all of your sob stories Shut up and shut your eyes No more histrionics no more college tries Stop pushing Stop shoving, stop straining Shut your mouth and button your lip You're a late night faucet that's got a drip All you're doing Is merely complaining

E7

C

The excuse that you're crazy is useless

E7

C

You're not biting you're barking... you're toothless

G7

But you're ruthless

Instrumental verse x2

Shut up and count some sheep Do me a favour don't bitch in your sleep No more agony... Please no more sorrow Shut up and catch some z's Ice cream with a cherry and a big pretty please I promise we will

Fmaj7

C

Resume tomorrow, goodnight

D/b

D

D/b

D

C

Em

Em7

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|-0h2----0h2---|--------|-0h2---0h2---|--------|---3---2-----|

|--------------|--------|-------------|--------|-------------|

D/b

D

Dsus4

D

In this town television shuts off at two

D/b

D

Dsus4

D

What can a lonely rock and roller do?

A7

A7sus4

The bed's so big and the sheets are clean

A7

A7sus4

Your girlfriend thinks you are nineteen

D/b

D

Dsus4

D

The Styrofoam ice bucket's full of ice

C

Em

Dsus4

D

C

Em7

D

Come up to my motel room treat me nice I don't want to make no late night New York calls I don't want to stare at those ugly grass mat walls Chronologically I know you're young But when you kissed me in the club you bit my tongue I'll write a song for you, put it on my next LP Come up to my motel room, sleep with me There's a bible in the drawer, don't be afraid I'll put up a sign to warn the clean-up maid There's lots of soap and lots of towels Never mind those desk clerk scowls I'll buy you breakfast, they'll think you're my wife Come up to my motel room, save my life

|

G

|

C

|

G

/c

/b

|

D

|

D

|

G

|

D

|

G

At the station you can meet her

C

G

With that smile you couldn't cheat her

/c

/b

D

G

D

A woman that kind is hard to find

G

It's good to take a girl

C

G

In the not so very good world

/c

/b

D

G

And walk in the park until it gets dark

D7

Am

Sometimes I feel ugly and old Excuse me baby if I'm acting bold My head gets hot but my feet aren't cold

C

D

Excuse me if you will Take a breather on a bench Helps to build up the suspense Then the two of you go to a movie show If she's woman there's a chance That she maybe likes to dance So you go to the hall and you out step 'em all Don't make a hullabaloo, I'm not the hoi polloi I'll try any trick and I'll pull any ploy I'm a used up twentieth century boy Excuse me if you will

G

C

G

D

G

She takes you home to meet the folks Laughing at the fathers jokes Shall we watch TV, it's all right with me Time to go you're going to miss her In the doorway try to kiss her Oh it tastes so good, like you hoped it would If I was 16 again I'd give my eyetooth I'm tired and I'm hungry and I'm looking for my youth I'm a little uncool and I'm a little uncouth

C

D

Oh excuse me, yes excuse me, if you will

G

At the station you can meet her

C

G

With that smile you couldn't cheat her

D

G

A woman that kind is hard to find

Rufus is a tit man Suckin' on his mamma's gland Suckin' on the nipple It's a sweeter than the ripple wine Yes its sweeter than the wine You can tell by the way the boy burps That it's gotta taste fine Marco Polo craved the spice and silk And Rufus craves the mamma's milk No moo-cow no billy-goat Is gonna get the baby's vote Come on mamma Come on and open up your shirt Yeah you've got the goods mamma Give the little boy a squirt For my lungs and my liver I do definitely fear I like to suck on cigarettes And drink the wine and beer The doctor says I'm oral And I believe it's true Ah son you look so satisfied I envy you So put Rufus on the left one And put me right on the right And like Romulus and Remus We'll suck all night Come on mamma Come on and lactate awhile Yeah look down on us mamma And flash us a Madonna smile

Capo:

V

C

F

C

G

C

F

In Delaware when I was younger

C

G

I would live a life obscene

C

F

In the spring I had great hunger

C

G

I was Brando, I was Dean

Em

Blaspheming booted blue jeaned baby boy Oh, how I made them turn their heads The townie brownie girls, they jumped for joy

G

And begged me bless them in their beds

C

F

C

G

In Delaware when I was younger I would row upon the lake In the spring I had great hunger I was Keats, I was Blake My pimpled pencilled pains I'd bring To frogs who sat entranced My drift dream ditties I would sing The water striders danced In Delaware when I was younger They thought St. Andrew had sufficed But in the spring I had great hunger I was Buddha, I was Christ You wicked wise men, where's your wonder? You Pharisees one day will pay See my lightning, hear my thunder I am truth, I know the way

C

F

In Delaware when I was younger

C

B

E

B

E

F#

B

The sad thing is I'm so damn happy

B

E

F#

Who'd blame her if she were to slap me

E

B

The sun should not shine when there's rain

E

B

I should be in a lot more pain

B

E

F#

At least I should feel slightly crappy

F#

B

But the sad thing is I'm so damn happy And the worst thing is it's so much better That admission would upset her But it's true and it's beyond belief What I feel is sheer relief I may regret the day I met her And the worst thing is it's so much better It's comic that it's all so tragic It's that hum-drum novel old black magic Let's have a laugh after we cry Let's hope we live before we die The silly clown's red nose is runny And it's tragic that it's all so funny It's crucial that it doesn't matter Vows of love are idle chatter To feel this good has to be bad I'm so damn happy that it's sad Dear listener would you like to slap me And the sad thing is I'm so damn happy Yes the sad thing is I'm so damn happy

Capo:

II

A7sus4

D

Isn't it strange that two strangers

A7sus4

D

Suddenly don't feel so strange

G

D

It's something familiar, though this time it's different

Em

A

What they're in for feels like sea change Isn't it weird the two weirdos Can wind up not feeling that weird It's all so momentous, yet perfectly normal Scary but not to be feared

Am

G

And it starts with a sentence that might last a lifetime

D

Am

Though it all might just go down in flames

Am

G

If I let you know me then why would you want me?

D

Am

Each day I don't is a shame

C

G

D

Each day I don't is a great shame

Instrumental verse

Isn't it great that two people Together can tear down one wall The handwriting is on it, it's not hieroglyphic That barrier just has to fall Well, isn't it sad that most people Stay so lonely, it's almost a crime We might be strange weirdos, but it can't be normal To be frightened so much of our time And it starts with a sentence that might last a lifetime Though it all might just go down in flames If I let you know me then why would you want me? Each day I don't is a shame Each day I don't is a great shame

Tuning: GDGBD (banjo standard)

Capo:

II

G

D

Em

|-----0---------|---------------|---------------|---------------|---------------|

|-0h3-3--0h1-1--|-1p0------0----|---------------|---------------|-----0-----0---|

|---------------|------2-0-0----|-0h2-2----2-0--|-----0-----0---|-----0---0-0---|

|---------------|---------------|---------------|-0h2-2---2-2---|-0h2-2-----2---|

|-------0-----0-|------------0--|-------0-------|-------0-----0-|-------0-----0-|

C

D

Em

D

G

|---------------|---------------|---------------|---------------|---------------|

|-----1-----1---|-----1---------|---------------|------1--------|---0-----0-----|

|-----0---0-0---|-0h2-2---2--0--|-----0-----0---|-0h2--2---2p0--|-0-0---0-0-----|

|-0h2-2-----2---|---------------|-0h2-2---2-2---|---------------|---------------|

|-------0-----0-|-------0-------|-------0-----0-|--------0------|-----0------0--|

G

C

G

This summer I went swimming

D

Em

This summer I might have drowned

Em

C

But I held my breath and I kicked my feet

D

Em

And I moved my arms around

D

G

I moved my arms around This summer I swam in the ocean And I swam in a swimming pool Salt my wounds, chlorine my eyes I'm a self-destructive fool A self-destructive fool This summer I swam in a public place And a reservoir, to boot At the latter I was informal At the former I wore my suit I wore my swimming suit This summer I did the backstroke And you know that's not all I did the breast stroke and the butterfly And the old Australian crawl The old Australian crawl This summer I did swan dives And jack-knives for you all And once when you weren't looking I did a cannonball I did a cannonball

Hey, Bob Dylan, I wrote you a song Today is your birthday if I'm not wrong If I'm not mistaken you're fifty today How are you doin', Bob? What do you say? Well, it musta been about '62 I heard you on record, and you were brand new An' some had some doubts about the way you sang But the truth came through and loudly rang Yeah, you were hipper than Mitch Miller and Johnny Mathis, put together! So I got some boots, a harmonica rack A D-21, an' I was on the right track But I didn't start writing until '68 It was too damn daunting, you were too great I won a whole lot of Bob Dylan imitation contests, though... huh! Yeah, times were a-changin' you brought it all home "Blonde On Blonde", "Like a Rolling Stone" The real world is crazy, you were deranged An' when you went electric, why, everything changed A shock to the system! Had a commission at yer motorcycle wreck Holed up in Woodstock, with a broken neck The labels were signin' up guys with guitars Out to make millions, lookin' for stars Well, I figured it was time to make my move Songs from the West Chester County Delta country Yeah, I got a deal , and so did John Prine Steve Forbert and Springsteen, all in a line They were lookin' for you, signin' up others We were "new Bob Dylans", your dumb-ass kid brothers Well, we still get together every week at Bruce's house Why, he's got quite a spread, I tell ya It's a twelve-step program Well, but we were just us and of course you were you And "John Wesley Harding" sure sounded new And then "Nashville Skyline" was even newer "Blood On the Tracks", an' the ringin' got truer Let's see, there was another one in there somewhere... Oh, I got it, I got it: "Self Portrait" Well, it was an interesting effort Yeah, had to stop listening, times were too tough Me bein' the new me was hard enough You keep right on changin' like you always do An' what's best is the old stuff still all sounds new Yeah, today is your birthday, have a great one, Bob! Bein' the new you is one hell of a job My kid cranked up her boom-box to almost grown When I heard you screamin' from her room "Everybody must get stoned." Thanks a lot, Bob

Capo:

II

Fadd9 xx3213 (or something similar)

C

F

C

I wonder how Suzy is doing?

F

G

C

In the airport in old Durango

C

F

C

Does Suzy still work for the airlines?

Am

G

I pray one day they let that bitch go

F

C

Suzy's a big deal at the airlines

F

G

Though Durango airport's pretty small

F

C

F

C

She checks in and tags and handles some baggage

C

Em

Fadd9

You could say that Suzy does it all

C

G

C

You could say that bitch Sue does it all I flew into Durango from Denver Where I'd ground-checked my Martin guitar Suzy took it off of that aircraft Threw it on top of a luggage car From the airplane there on the runway Through the window I witnessed it all My axe hit the tarmac, I swear I heard it crack My old dreadnought took a dreadful fall My guitar took a terrible fall

Em

F

So inside I showed Suzy the damage

Em

F

Caused by her negligent misdeed

Em

F

She denied that it even happened

F

G

Innocent was how Suzy did plead When I implied that she was a liar That's when Suzy made up her sick mind Hell surely don't hath that bitch Suzy's wrath She was gonna kick my ass big time That bitch would kick my ass big time The next day I went back to the airport My old six-string held together with tape Suzy was on duty that morning From that cold bitch I cold not escape She said you can't take your guitar to Texas Because it's in a soft leather case Either leave it behind, or a hard case go find I swear that bitch had a smile on her face That bitch had a smile on her face Then she showed me a rule in a rulebook Some BS made up by the FAA I had to leave my guitar in Durango Get it Fed-Exed back home to LA I borrowed an axe down in Austin Where I swore I would right Suzy's wrong Lawyers ain't cheap, I'm no litigious creep So instead I wrote Suzy a song I wrote that bitch Suzy a song Now I think of myself as a nice guy Usually I'm polite, never rude 'Cause the bitch's real name isn't Suzy 'Cause I don't want to get my ass sued But I wonder how Angela's doing That's something I'd sure like to know Is Angie still there with her pony-tail hair In that airport in old Durango? In that airport in old Durango?

G

C

G

C

G

I was raised here in Westchester County

G

C

D

Dsus4

D

I was taught in the Country Day School

C

D

G

C

We were richer than most, I don't mean to boast

G

D

C

G

But I swam in the country club pool With a father from Hewlett, Long Island And a mother from Tifton, GA During the war in the Marine Corps They met and then married one day I was raised here in Westchester County My brother, my sisters and I Oh, our dad went to work every day in NY On a train in a suit and a tie I remember those coming out parties Where us country club kids had our fun Steal a kiss, cop a feel, off a girl in high heels Oh, we all came in our cummerbund I was raised here in Westchester County Tennis courts, golf courses galore By the country club pool at the Country Day School I learned manners, oh so much more I remember those big Sunday dinners Round that dining room table we all sat Carve a turkey, a ham, a roast leg of lamb Dinner finished in ten minutes flat I was raised here in Westchester County I was taught in the Country Day School We were richer than most, I don't mean to boast

G

D

C

But I swam in the country club pool

G

In the country club pool

Capo:

V

C

F

G

C

Mother liked her white wine, when she was alive

F

G

She was desperate to live, but her limit was five

C

Carefully I'd kiss her, and send her off to bed

Em

F

G

Am

Thank God we stuck with white wine, and stayed away from red

Em

F

G

C

F

G

Always stick with white wine and stay away from... Mother liked her white wine, and she'd have a glass or two Almost every single night after her day was through Sancerre, Chardonnay, Chablis, Pinot Grigio Just to take the edge off, just to get the glow You've got to take the edge off if you want to get the... Mother liked her white wine and we'd have a glass or three And we'd sit out on the screen porch, white winos mom and me We'd talk about my childhood, recap my career When we got to my father that was when I'd switch to beer When we got to the old man then I'd always switch to... Mother liked her white wine and she'd have a glass or four Each empty bottle a dead soldier, the marriage was the war When we blurred the edges, when we drank the lot That's when I got nervous, when the glow got hot I always get nervous when the glow gets... I still like my white wine and I'll have a glass or two And when I'm down I'll have some whiskey, that's something I shouldn't do Every now and then, I'll take a drop of red When I'm with a woman that I want to take to bed When I'm with a woman that I want to take to... Mother liked her white wine, when she was alive She was desperate to live, but her limit was five Carefully I'd kiss her, and send her off to bed Thank God we stuck with white wine, and stayed away from red

Em

F

G

Always stick with white wine, and stay away from

Em

F

G

C

Mother liked her white wine

Loudon:

You never phone, you never write Hey, I've stopped hoping that you might You're trying to hurt my feelings, right? You never phone and you never write

Martha:

You never write, you never phone I'm sorry I gotta bitch and moan I'm sorry I gotta pick this bone You never write, you never phone

Both:

Sometimes I wonder What you must think of me My address and phone number Must be misty in your memory

Loudon:

This year my birthday came and went No call was made, no card was sent But I got the snub you must have meant This year my birthday came and went

Martha:

This year my birthday went and came Last year what happened was the same And your excuses sure are lame This year my birthday went and came

Both:

Sometimes I wonder What you must think of me Then I remember It's you that you think of exclusively

Loudon:

I'm not gonna bow and scrape

Martha:

In every bunch there's one bad grape

Loudon:

I'm a little bit bent out of shape But I'm not gonna bow and scrape

Martha:

I won't scrape or bow

Loudon:

Genuflect, beg or kowtow

Martha:

Just singing this song is fine for now

Loudon:

No, I'm not gonna scrape

Loudon Wainwright : Misc

Another Song In C

Daughter

The Days That We Die

Dead Skunk

I'd Rather Be Lonely

I Don't Think That Your Wife Likes Me

Lullaby

Motel Blues

New Paint

Rufus Is A Tit Man

School Days

So Damn Happy

Strange Weirdos

Swimming Song

Talking New Bob Dylan

Unfriendly Skies

Westchester County

White Winos

You Never Phone